Just For Fun
Provo City Art Stroll April 2019
How I Almost Died While Feeding a Gold Fish
A True Story
My neighbor plays as a lineman on the University's football team in the city I live in. That's an important detail for this story.
It's also important to know that when this story took place I did not know this neighbor very well.
I'll skip all of the details and reasoning that went into the decisions leading up to the situation, but in short one of my good friends was asked by this neighbor if he could feed his fish while he was on vacation with his wife in Hawaii. He said yes, forgetting until it was already too late that he was going to be out of town for one of those days. I somehow ended up getting wrapped into it by my friend and agreed to feed the fish for him while my neighbor was on vacation. The conversation went word for word like this,
I'm noticing that I have a lot of fish drawings and videos, so you can look through those and I'll type up my near death gold fish story.
I think I'll call it...
Late that night (Like 11:00 PM) I showed up to my neighbor's house, and as expected all of the lights were off. I typed in the code and walked inside. I had never been in his house before, but my friend had told me that the fish was in the kitchen towards the back of the house. I turned on all of the lights and started walking back towards the kitchen. When I got to the kitchen I switched on the light switch, but instead of a light turning on, a terrible grinding noise in the pantry started. I quickly turned it back off, and the noise stopped. Then my curiosity got the best of me and I turned in on and off about 5 more times just to see what the noise was. It was a fan. That's all.
me, "I can do it, but it won't be until
super late tonight."
friend, "That's ok! Fish don't care
when they eat!"
me, "Ok, send me the door code."
friend, "Thanks man!"
"You don't need me to feed your fish do you?"
He still looked shocked, "No, I'm good."
"Ok, I'm going to go."
I ran back home as fast as I could.
Apparently my friend who asked me to feed the fish had gotten the days mixed up.
"Oops, my bad."
"Yeah right. Don't talk to me."
I couldn't find the main light switch so finally I just gave up and started feeling my way back towards the fish tank. I bumped into a few chairs and they slid across the linoleum floor making that awful noise chairs sliding across linoleum make. I finally made it to the tank, and I grabbed the little bottle of food. I unscrewed the lid and grabbed a tiny pinch. As I reached my hand over the tank I froze dead in my tracks. Coming from up the stairs I heard heavy footsteps. Thump. Thump. Thump. I was supposed to be the only in the home! I turned around with a horrified look on my face, still holding the pinch of food over the fish tank. I was sure that I was going to be face to face with a shotgun pointed straight at my head. I wasn't. This was a lineman on the University's football team. He didn't need a gun, because he was going to snap me in half with his bare hands. I stood there like a deer in the headlights, waiting to die, unable to move. When he got to the top of the stairs he looked at me hovering over his fish tank. I looked back at him. He rubbed his eyes trying to make sure he wasn't still dreaming. I finally got the courage to speak...
Welcome to my personal favorite page
This is where I let my imagination run wild. Somebody once described my art work as adorable mixed with a little dark humor. I beamed with pride for the rest of the day. You'll notice lots of explosions and fire mixed with aliens, fish, and monsters along with anything else that popped into my imagination at the time. The other pages on this site are good examples of what I do to make a living, but this page is what I live to do. (Did that make sense? Probably not, but it felt poetic in my mind before I typed it.) Anyways, feel free to leave me a few good puns or dad jokes through the messenger thing in the bottom corner of the page. Hope you enjoy! K thanks, bye.
That's All Folks!
It's ok to be as sad as this guy over here now that you have gone through this page. Luckily, if that is how you feel you can scroll back up to the top of the page and start over. Or better yet, you can order some custom videos and I will happily make them for you. You do that by hitting that "Get Started" Button down there. Or hit that chat icon and send me a message. Or call me, or email me. There are lots of options.
Whatever you choose, thanks for visiting my site!